One hurdle down

This week was filled with mixed emotions, but who are we kidding, that is our life lately. 

After almost two months of waiting, we finally had our Katie Beckett interview/eval Monday. It was two hours of back to back questions about Ellie and her abilities. Hearing it in a string of questions, one after another after another, was heart breaking to say the least. I had to excuse myself three times. It’s like you know she needs help, but to hear it all at once was very overwhelming. They asked questions like: Can she hug you? Does she put her arms out for you? Does she understand when you point at things? Can she sit on her own, without support? Can she eat on her own? Can she hold her bottle/sippy cup? And just a lot of other questions that one at a time are probably manageable, but all at once were unbearable. We got through it, but there was a bit of a cloud over the week.

One thing I have been feeling lately, with Ellie being undiagnosed, is that maybe there’s a chance that she’s fine and I’m just blowing this out of proportion, maybe I’m being overly sensitive and all these things happening to her are normal. Maybe her abnormal MRI will correct itself, maybe her chorea will stop, maybe she’ll get her strength and control back.

Yesterday we received the letter that approves us for the benefits. This is a huge deal, a game changer. This will help us ensure Ellie has the best care and it won’t affect us financially. This is an answer to our prayers. But this is also acknowledging that there is something wrong with our baby girl.